shamus

2010-06-09T07:58:00.000-07:00

If life were a movie, Austin Powers would mistake her for a man and punch her in the face.

2010-04-22T16:01:00.001-07:00

Who are the ad-wizards who came up with this one? (Part II)

2010-04-22T15:58:00.000-07:00

Ad Wizard 1: Hmm, we need a tagline that says we're number one
Ad Wizard 2: That's a coincidence, because ichiban means "number one" in Japanese.
Ad Wizard 1: Seriously?
Ad Wizard 2: Yeah, it says right here in this Japanese to English dictionary.
Ad Wizard 1: Lemme see that. This is perfect! A tagline that's also a definition.
Ad Wizard 2: You don't think it's too obvious?
Ad Wizard 1: Trust me dude, I wrote the "beef, it's what's for dinner" campaign.

2010-03-26T10:33:00.001-07:00

Ah, the lost art of swords.

2010-03-26T10:26:00.000-07:00

Go go gadget, Ft. Lauderdale P.D.

2010-03-26T10:22:00.000-07:00

If only they had anchovies.

2010-03-26T10:18:00.000-07:00

Yo, Ronnie. You just got Shamus'd, douchebag!

2010-03-11T13:54:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, when you buy something new, you just can't wait until you get home to try it out.

2010-02-17T09:06:00.000-08:00

If only Courtney would have slipped Kurt a little in his O.J. every morning...

2010-02-17T09:01:00.000-08:00

Why you mess with Shamus' livelihood?

2010-02-16T10:53:00.001-08:00

New Hampshire: where it's still 1984.

2010-02-13T14:32:00.000-08:00

I know. It's true. Every day.

2010-02-13T14:29:00.000-08:00

They weren't kidding about the newly renovated rooms.

2010-02-06T08:20:00.001-08:00

That's all I got.

2010-02-06T08:19:00.000-08:00

Raver food.

2010-02-06T08:18:00.000-08:00

Oh, T-Bird. Don't be so funny.

2010-02-06T08:15:00.000-08:00

Yeah, and have a pack of Winston's, too!

2010-01-15T21:41:00.000-08:00

Who wants some penis cheese!?!

2009-12-28T09:26:00.000-08:00

Hey, white boy. You've been Shamus'd.

2009-12-28T09:23:00.000-08:00

Water! Fuck yeah! Coming to save the motherfuckin' day yeah.

2009-12-19T18:43:00.000-08:00

Yo, ketchup - what happened, buddy?

2009-12-19T18:32:00.000-08:00

South Beach is little-people-friendly!

2009-10-29T16:13:00.000-07:00

Woot!

2009-09-23T10:01:00.000-07:00

Satan's recommends.

2009-09-23T09:57:00.000-07:00

Aw, shit! I dropped my Metrocard.

2009-09-23T09:54:00.000-07:00

Wow, a MINI limo. That makes sense.

2009-07-31T11:43:00.000-07:00

Nuff said.

2009-07-07T10:23:00.000-07:00

Okay, this guy definitely has a pet mongoose (or a ferret) and at least 3 gold chains. You go, Cash Man!

2009-07-07T10:15:00.000-07:00

Independence Day does not give you a free pass to wear stupid pants. Good God, man. Why don't you just punch Uncle Sam in the neck.

2009-07-07T10:12:00.000-07:00

"Hey, little girl. Did you know that the United States was founded in 1783 and..."

(Interrupts) "Um, yeah, I'm looking for the Dippin' Dots store."

2009-07-07T10:10:00.000-07:00

I pity the fool who spill gourmet olive.

2009-07-04T09:39:00.000-07:00

Where Bozo parks his ride when he's in the City.

2009-07-04T09:37:00.000-07:00

Well, fuck you very much.

2009-05-23T09:39:00.001-07:00

Also, Roseanne Barr's nickname.

2009-05-12T18:41:00.000-07:00

Hmm. A small, cramped, dirty dwelling. Seems NYC worms and humans have a similar quality of life.

2009-05-11T09:35:00.000-07:00

Tastes like chocolate, smells of Brut.

2009-05-02T05:55:00.000-07:00

Say what you will about the smell, but the tile work at Poop Station is impressive.

2009-04-30T05:45:00.000-07:00

Ah, the secret to Popeyes fried chicken.

2009-04-29T06:38:00.000-07:00

Translation: Are you stoned, brah? Then this is your pizza.
Fine print: Not recommended for non-stoned individuals due to wicked gnarliness of ingredients.

2009-04-28T07:08:00.000-07:00

This ad reminds me of when a Jehovah's Witness shows up on your stoop uninvited. And this is where I give a long, blank stare and slam the door.

2009-04-27T06:31:00.000-07:00

Looks like someone upgraded to HD.

2009-04-24T08:00:00.000-07:00

No shit. It's kind of an intrinsic human emotion responsible for the continued existence of the human race for the past 200,000 years.

2009-04-23T06:41:00.000-07:00

Ooh, the Flamenco rendition of Lil' Wayne's "Lollipop". The Honduran mountain flute makes it extra sexy.

2009-04-15T07:12:00.000-07:00

This is like a bad student ad for an online newspaper. Get it? The person living here has no use for the regular newspaper because the online version is so awesome! What's that? You don't get it? Oh, you DO get it. You don't think it's clever? Why don't you think it's clever?

2009-04-14T07:35:00.000-07:00

Looks like someone was being chased and they tried to do that thing in the movies where you spill a bunch of marbles on the ground and the assailant slips and falls. Word to the wise, it doesn't work with Planters Cheez Balls.

2009-04-13T08:17:00.000-07:00

This is what happens when people drink Jägerbombs

2009-04-07T08:38:00.000-07:00

Watching the Central Park dance skaters is like dropping gay acid on a rainbow while a leprechaun blows on your freshly pained toenails. It's both happy and confusing.

2009-04-03T08:36:00.000-07:00

High security, two porch lights and an extra-low window - looks like another troll dwelling masquerading as a regular one.

2009-04-02T06:11:00.000-07:00

Based on what I see here, I'd say the driver's name is Hershel, but he goes by "BooBoo." He has a voice reminiscent of Iron Mike, a tattooed tear on his left cheek and he smells of Gabel's Bay Rum after shave.

2009-04-01T07:59:00.000-07:00

Fucking snobby West Village birds.

2009-03-31T05:54:00.000-07:00

Total iPod campaign rip off. Lemme guess - in the TV version, the eaten-alive-shadow-guy dances wildly to the latest Feist song?

2009-03-27T15:14:00.000-07:00

OMG, this must be where the Doublemint twins live.

2009-03-26T06:53:00.000-07:00

As I attempted to walk by, a tiny man appeared from behind this equally tiny door and said, "you may pass" in Trollish. I threw the deuces and proceeded quietly.

2009-03-25T07:29:00.000-07:00

Evidence of prehistoric east coast carnies. Upon further examination, you can see leaf-like indentations suggesting cabbage droppings.

2009-03-24T07:33:00.000-07:00

This time I'm sure. Yes, that is a Skittles wrapper.

2009-03-23T06:52:00.000-07:00

Hey, I think I see an ad job down there.....................never mind, it's just a Skittles wrapper.

2009-03-20T07:16:00.000-07:00

Present, but not pictured: Mr. T at the next window over, salivating like a dog with rabies.

2009-03-19T07:07:00.000-07:00

Look at the guy on the far right - everyone else is smiling like their sh** don't stink. Hmm, I bet his sh** stinks.

2009-03-18T07:08:00.000-07:00

NY's famous Bobby Brown haircut building.

2009-03-17T08:25:00.000-07:00

well done
medium-well
medium
medium-rare
rare
moo

2009-03-16T07:17:00.000-07:00

Notify PETA - Barney is the new mink.

2009-03-13T07:24:00.001-07:00

You wanna impress me, bird? Now, tie my shoes.

2009-03-12T06:55:00.000-07:00

I would like to use this opportunity to steal a quote from our beloved young president. (Obama said this to the crowd at the first inaugural ball) "First of all, how good-looking is my wife?"

2009-03-11T13:45:00.000-07:00

I imagine that these rival cable guys are upstairs having an all-out, anything-goes battle for city-wide broadcast supremacy.

2009-03-10T08:22:00.000-07:00

OMG, Shoes

2009-03-09T07:02:00.000-07:00

Present, but not pictured: Sigourney Weaver and Rick Moranis.

2009-03-06T07:47:00.000-08:00

More ironic art - oh, art - you're so arty!

2009-03-05T08:13:00.000-08:00

Some people say, "don't eat the yellow snow." I say, don't eat the fucking mauve snow.

2009-03-04T06:50:00.000-08:00

Don't you hate it when you're walking through Harlem, bumpin' your ghetto blaster, and you catch a mean draft up the back of your parka? Kiss those days goodbye and say hello to FrostBeeyach - the ultimate in personal entertainment/warmth - R.I.P. Radio Raheem.

2009-03-03T09:42:00.000-08:00

The answer to the question, "need a fur?"

2009-03-02T08:12:00.000-08:00

Is this like a back rub by way of the masseuse's foot or a foot rub that concentrates solely on the back side of the foot?

2009-02-27T08:32:00.000-08:00

The Coniferous Eastern Garbage Tree - native to New York City.

2009-02-26T07:36:00.000-08:00

Here's something historic - I was going to read it, but then I yawned and became bored.

2009-02-25T07:51:00.000-08:00

Gee, Star Magazine, how did she do it? It's called plasticFUCKINGsurgery! Followed by airbrushing, BTW.

2009-02-24T09:34:00.000-08:00

New York restaurants are so gimmicky – here, strange men with facial hair play the role of mother bird, feeding patrons stache-riddled food remnants as if the patron is their baby counter part.

2009-02-23T09:12:00.000-08:00

Hair removal cream for men called "Nad's". I guess the names "Nutz" and "Scrot" were ready taken.

2009-02-17T16:59:00.000-08:00

Macy's in Herald Square - the new home of LesterCorp.

2009-02-12T07:35:00.000-08:00

The saddest little chair in all of Manhattan - I see a Pixar movie in your future

2009-02-11T07:14:00.000-08:00

East Coast jargon meaning "drinking fountain"

2009-02-10T05:56:00.000-08:00

OMG, this art is so artistic. Yay, art!

2009-02-09T06:54:00.000-08:00

The 1

2009-02-06T06:53:00.000-08:00

Domino, motherFer!

2009-02-05T07:01:00.000-08:00

Is that Jesus?

2009-02-04T08:17:00.000-08:00

Eau de ass, you've been trumped

2009-02-03T07:50:00.000-08:00

The Church of the Patriots

2009-02-02T07:34:00.000-08:00

She has many job

2009-01-30T08:27:00.001-08:00

NY snow

2009-01-29T07:06:00.000-08:00

NYC = Brown Town

2009-01-28T08:02:00.000-08:00

Tartine

2009-01-27T07:20:00.000-08:00

No, no there isn't a better way. Shaving like a man is the one and only way. False advertising! False advertising!

2009-01-26T07:58:00.000-08:00

Stick to writing sermons, Pastor.

2009-01-23T07:19:00.000-08:00

Burger Joint, Gilbert!

2009-01-22T06:01:00.000-08:00

Do, MoMA.

2009-01-21T07:07:00.000-08:00

Don't, MoMA.

2009-01-20T07:05:00.000-08:00

Breakfast of champions.

2009-01-16T07:36:00.000-08:00

Yeah, take that, guy who abandoned his TV.

2009-01-14T07:02:00.000-08:00

Holla.

2009-01-13T10:32:00.000-08:00

Valkyrie subway poster - 14th & 6th Avenue

2009-01-12T07:32:00.000-08:00

Therapy by Krylon.

Dear Internets,

2009-01-12T07:27:00.000-08:00

More accurately, “dear, 3-5 people who read my blog” (including me). Just as John Malkovich decided to declare himself no longer an actor in the movie “Being John Malkovich”, I shall do the same. Shamus is no longer a blog of rants! From hereon, it shall consist of only pictures of which I have taken on my iPhone from around the city of New York. There is much to see. Onward!